Things my kids say - Things That Make You Go Uh?!

I never cease to be amazed at the things that come out of my kids' mouths. Sometimes I wonder why. Sometimes it makes me groan. Sometimes I just crinkle my face up and force another gray hair out.
Things like...
  • There is a hole between your buttocks. -Wailer (Indeed there is.)
  • I'm trying to annoy Little Bean because... -Rough Stuff (As if there is a reason for this.)
  • I wonder if pretzels bounce?- Wailer (They do not.) 
  • She called me a damn cheese!- Little Bean (Um...okay. Ignore her?)
  • How do you clean poop out of your shoe? -Skiffy  (Note to amateur parents: NEVER ASK WHY-you don't really want to know the answer.) 
  • Would you rather eat a shoe or a gun? I'd rather eat a shoe. -Rough Stuff  (Is there a 3rd option?)
  • Hey watch! I'm wearing a bra...haha. -Litttle Bean (Lord, help us.)
  • Did you and Dad ever have sex? -Rough Stuff  (At least five times dear.)
  • Is that what you're always looking in your butt for? -Skiffy  (I overheard this. I did NOT ask why.)
  • Why is there turquoise ink in your butt crack? -Keeper of the Herd (Sometimes I forget not to ask why.)
  • These pickles taste like an old car. -Rough Stuff (She continued to eat them and Aspie concurred.)
  • What day is the Fourth of July on? -Skiffy  (This is your brain on puberty.) 
  • I have a bite on my bone, my skin bone. -Little Bean  (I have never seen a skin bone, but this child also has 'feet nails'. Very creative.)
  • I wanna man with a slow hand.- Little Bean ( more retro music around this kiddo.)